I fear to go outside with Shaanya. In college days once
he forcefully took me to a flute concert telling me it’s healthy! WTF. The
thing is people won’t make scapegoats, people are scapegoats. And he left the concert amidst and went to
room. I was stuck in the auditorium as I don’t like to walk away while the
program is still going on. He gives much hype about everything and easily looses interest
about everything!
The
irony of the scapegoat club members is they won’t know that they are the
members, I mean Scapegoats! What is the solution to avoid becoming scapegoat?
Err.., Wait let me think.
“Le, I am planning to join swimming, wanna come?”,
Shaanya asked with his usual dancing styles and typical NK accent. Not his accent is typical, he only typical.
After every hollow dialogue he laughs and asks us, “How was the joke?” He thinks
himself as Russel Peter.
“A big no. I have BM’s assignment to finish else he will
dump me in his subject for sure”, I replied him while cleaning my specks. White frame needs more attention L
“Hmm.., Don’t you want to grow taller?’, he was bribing
me. He knew me well. I stood and checked my height with his, “dude one inch
taller I wanna grow, just one inch”, I was pleading him like he gonna credit me
an inch height instantly. People always
need an extra thing. We never get satisfied about what we have. I always prayed God to make every one shorter
than me. But God might be busy in seeing other applications. Log itna jyada
applications kyun dalte hain?
“ One inch, hmmm.., 2.52cm... 25.2mm.., daily 0.01mm..,
so total.., yeah! I have a pool proof plan (!). You come with me for swimming
every day and you will grow one inch within three months”, he told me doing
some calculations in air. If Kalam had
seen him doing this calculation, he would have announced ‘we found an expert
for ISRO’! Ye tho genius nikla.
“Really?” I enquired
in full of gay.
“ It’s not like your ‘Grow Tall’ syrup. By the way Sheeni
used to have that and see what happened to him. Now he doesn’t want to marry
only. Side effects boss, side effects”, he whispered. Really Sheeni?!
When people know your loop holes, it’s not required to
push you in a pit; just their directions suffice to make us fall in a pit.
“I am in”, I replied.
-- -- --
“Queue is not moving. I want to bang every ones arse and
make them move. And Dude, Why are you so
freaking out, chill”, I asked Shaanya. I was getting tensed by seeing his
expressions. We were in queue for entering the college swimming pool.
“By the way, I forgot to tell you, for going in, we need
to have medical certificate signed by the HCC main and Err... we don’t have the
certificate. One Budda usually checks the file if he gets doubt about the
students and if he comes to know about us as we have not submitted the forms
then he will screw us and som.. som..sometimes he will inform to PD too! And
more than all, as I have hea.. hea.. heard, he is too sharp “, Shaanya was
stammering.
I got hiccups. P...D! That Bast... no that MoFu!!.
“OK, chill. Nothing ha..happened. Act normal, ac..ac..act
normal”, Shaanya was still stammering and he was telling me not to be afraid. I
thought of leaving the queue and go room but gate was closed. If I go now then
Budda definitely will come and enquire me.
I thought, because of fear my shorts gonna get wet before
getting in to pool!
“Why queue is moving faster? Is everyone in a hurry to
wash their arse there?” (!) We were reaching Budda faster. Meri fati padi thi.
“Err.., Dostha. How did you feel about the movie which
you watched yesterday?”, he asked me. I could notice the panic in his voice.
“When did we go for....”, I was enquiring but Shaanya
interrupted “Shhh.., just act and response affirmative”. He whispered. He wanted
to act normal.
“Do you think me as mad?”
“Yeah”, I replied. He stared at me. “Dude you only told me
to be affirmative”, Gave an honest reply.
When we moved nearer to Budda, Shaanya started to talk in
Marathi (!), his dancing has increased and no comments about his chootiya
jokes.
“By the way I forgot something else too”, Shaanya’s next
bomb was to explode.
Were
we playing some thrill game? He was giving shock after shock. What is a shock?
‘ Lock kiya jaye? Yay!! You won 5 crore
rupee in KBC 2 and you are now a damn
celebrity’. No it’s happy tears. ‘Dude, yesterday you carried math copy chit
but you wrote that in social paper!’
Yeah this is a shock.
“Soaps and shampoos are not
allowed here but I have brought shampoo to wash hair. If he catches me then I
will be expelled. See the rules on board”, he pointed at the notice board.
WTH, I was totally pissed off, without my knowledge I started talking in NK style!! Shaanya’s turn came.
Budda was checking his cover; I was so pissed, to drag Budda’s attention I
said, “My senior raped me yesterday!” Everyone started looking at me. Even
Shaanya was giving horrified look but that Budda did not even lift his chin.
Budda was really strict and stubborn. If
I would have raped him then also he would not have stopped his cover checking
duty!
I was numb when Shaanya got gate pass through the Budda. Next was my
turn. Budda saw me, I smiled hesitantly. Thought I will wish him it will make
him special and may become liberal. What
a stupid logic. He opened my cover, HELL!! To my disbelief, shampoo was in
my cover!! Shaanya had slipped shampoo in my cover without my knowledge and had
escaped!!
What
is the solution to avoid becoming scapegoat? Err.., Wait let me think. Is there
any? If you find, let me know it first please!
